


Things We've Learned in the Light

by gayv



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-10-27 08:34:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20757437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayv/pseuds/gayv
Summary: “sometimes, when you know, you know.” changmin meets yunho again in a life that is much kinder to their hearts, and though their minds may not remember, their souls have never forgotten.





	1. spring

**Author's Note:**

> a continuation of the epilogue to [before your time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20452514). there will be a fair amount of throwbacks in the form of mannerisms, repeated phrases, vaguely similar situations, etc to the previous fic for continuity’s sake, but i’ve tried to write this in such a way that it can be standalone as well if the aforementioned epilogue is read. please enjoy!

**SPRING I**

“Mimi-yah! Everything’s ready!”

Changmin looks at the workstation he’s carefully prepared on the kitchen island, silicone mats securely in place with bowls of corn starch and powdered sugar sat just off to the side, a sifter and another larger empty bowl patiently awaiting use as he goes to the far counter to pick up two covered dishes he and Eunmi left to set the night before once their cooking activity had wrapped up for the evening. She’d decided, while watching Changmin cook dinner the weekend prior, that she wanted to cook something too – something special, she’d insisted, for her classmates at her new kindergarten (“I’ll be everybody’s favorite then,” she’d insisted, and Changmin had to laugh at the determination that radiated from his daughter), and so Changmin had promptly set to work trying to come up with suitable class-sized options.

It had to be at least relatively easy, with steps a five-year-old could be actively involved in, while also being something that at least the majority of her class would enjoy – although Eunmi was surprisingly open to trying new things, the taste buds of five-year-olds were often fickle, he knew. Somewhere in the midst of his putting together ideas, Changmin had the tiniest idea – just an inkling, really – that he could possibly use this scenario to his potential benefit and, with only the slightest tinge of guilt, he’d decided on something he could easily make with his daughter that was nearly universally loved… and quietly, he hoped this would work in his favor.

When Eunmi comes barreling into the room, he sets her to washing her hands at the sink and follows suit, letting her handle the task of sifting the corn starch and powdered sugar together and then sprinkling it over the mats he’d placed. There’s a distinct ‘plop’ as he flips one of their dishes from the evening before over onto the surface, peeling back the foil and giving the now-exposed side a thorough dusting as well before preparing a heart-shaped cookie cutter for her.

“When you cut them out,” he explains after spraying and dusting the cutter, pressing it into the furthest corner of the slab before turning the cutter over as an example, “change the way it’s turned so we can get the most out, okay?” The girl nods, her mouth downturning into the most serious expression she can manage as she sets out on her task of cutting out fluffy pink (strawberry – the choice had been arbitrary based on what Changmin was able to find in season, and he hoped it didn’t backfire on him by way of allergy or distaste) hearts as he goes to his own chocolate tempering project. They work largely in silence; the trait of fixated focus on serious tasks is something Eunmi absolutely inherited from Changmin, mostly showing itself when he allows her to cook with him, and by the time he’s finished with his task she has about fifteen hearts cut out of the soft pink slab on the counter.

“I don’t think it’s enough,” she says sadly, and Changmin immediately goes to work to remedy the situation before it can progress by reaching for the second dish and bringing it close.

“There will be enough,” he promises with a smile, and she seems to be satisfied even by only this, beaming back at him almost immediately upon seeing the second dish. “We made two, remember? A little of it is for Yunho-seonsaengnim and with the rest we can make more hearts, everyone will get some, promise.” After cutting about a third of the second pan away with a knife and then into nice, uniform squares, he helps her to finish the remainder of the second batch of hearts, letting her roll them around in the starch and sugar mixture to make sure they’re all coated.

“Don’t press too hard,” Changmin tells her after she accidentally pokes a finger just a little too far into one of the tops, “they’re resilient, but not indestructible.”

“Daddy,” she says seriously, “I don’t know what that means,” and then shoots him a very particular look that is so disturbingly familiar he can’t help but laugh before he explains everything to her. As she rolls, she pushes the finished ones to the side, and he dips those in chocolate – hearts are half-dipped, squares get the top half done, then are placed to the side on a rack to cool. It’s an efficient machine by the end, and he lets her finish the treats with a dusting of red edible glitter.

The process is fairly messy – by the end the counter is covered in corn starch, powdered sugar, melted chocolate, and sticky splotches that take more than a little elbow grease, but Eunmi is thrilled with both the fact that she’ll have a treat to bring to school Monday as well as the fact that she’s gotten to cook with her father, and for Changmin, her happiness is more than enough repayment for the extra work he has to put into cleaning up the mess. She uses his phone to take photos of what they’ve made together, and he promises her that she can help with the packaging later.

***

It’s been two weeks since Eunmi started school at her new kindergarten, and despite the absolute tragedy that was their first meeting, Changmin has graduated from stuttering like an idiot around his daughter’s teacher to being able to hold a decent, albeit short, conversation with him. He doesn’t understand why he’s this way with Yunho; he often wonders if the other man knows there’s at least some level of interest there, then goes on to wonder exactly how appropriate that is considering said other man is his daughter’s teacher. He tells himself to let it go, that it’s a conflict of interest… but five minutes later his mind goes right back to the same subject. It’s always Yunho, with his bubbly personality and distractingly blinding smile, and Changmin is so very lost in all of it – he thinks if someone were to ask, he wouldn’t even be able to deny it.

So here he is at the entrance to his daughter’s kindergarten on Monday morning, covered tray in hand, and on top sits a small white box with a tag containing nothing but Yunho’s name in the neatest print he can manage. “Eunmi wanted to make something special for the class,” he explains, “so we made these together for everyone. I hope that’s alright?”

“Of course it is!” Yunho answers enthusiastically, taking the items as they’re handed off to him and giving more than a slightly curious glance to the separate box on top. “Are these – “

“The box is for you,” Changmin quickly answers before the other man has the chance to get out the entirety of his question. “I thought – “

“Vitamin Yunho-seonsaengnim!” Eunmi interrupts, tugging on the side of his bright yellow apron to get his attention, and when he kneels down, her expression turns very serious (he notices now exactly how much she looks like Changmin and there’s something about that that warms his heart). “I made these. Be careful with them. They’re resilient but not indestructible.”

Both men look at the girl for a moment before Changmin bursts into laughter, remembering he’d said _exactly_ those words to her while she was busy mashing her fingers into what they’d made, and soon enough Yunho begins laughing too despite not knowing the story – it’s amusement at the situation, an unexplainable fondness for the thus-far rare sound of the other man’s laughter, and having been so seriously warned by a five-year-old using words well beyond her ken, and he can’t help pulling her close for a hug with his free arm.

“I’ll take the best care of them, Eunmi-yah, don’t you worry!” he promises with a wink and a grin, and she seems satisfied with this, bounding off to join some friends who are just arriving. Before she reaches them, however, she turns back to the two once again.

“Daddy!” she shouts back to them, and both Changmin and Yunho look to her. “Did you ask Vitamin Yunho-seonsaengnim what you wanted to ask him?”

Yunho looks back at Changmin, who immediately blanches as he realizes the situation he’s in. In the car on the way over, he’d given himself something of a quiet pep talk that he hadn’t intended to be overheard in the least, especially considering the fact that Eunmi had been seemingly engrossed in the music she’d chosen to listen to this morning. Maybe he’d said something about _finally asking today_ and maybe she’d overheard it, and maybe she, with no idea of the situation, had just dragged him out into the open when in truth he was entirely not ready to be there, especially now that he was.

“You wanted to ask me something, Changmin-ssi?” Yunho asks him, and in his expression Changmin almost feels like he can see just a little bit of something hopeful… but that couldn’t be, he’s certain. Yunho probably assumes it’s something about Eunmi, and with that bit of self-reassurance, Changmin feels a little less on edge.

“It’s nothing,” he says, waving it off as quickly as it had come up. “I don’t really remember now anyway. I do need to get going though; I’ll pick up the dishes tomorrow morning, is that fine?”

“That’s fine,” Yunho assures him, his voice sounding the slightest bit deflated – that, too, is something Changmin is sure he’s imagining, and he doesn’t let himself think too much on it, busying himself with saying goodbye to his daughter before thanking Yunho and giving them both a wave on his way out.

Maybe, however, Changmin allows himself to think a little more on it in the car, and maybe he can’t deny the fact that the tiny hint of dejection he was almost certain he’d heard in Yunho’s tone gives him a terrible emotional conflict: just a little bit of happiness, mixed with the need to keep the other man from anything that would ever necessitate that tone again.

Maybe he’s a mess, and Changmin doesn’t know how to _be_ a mess, because this isn’t what he does, but somehow… somehow, despite the nauseating anxiety and the constant reminders to himself to not do stupid things like what he’s doing right now, it all feels okay.

Like it fits.

***

After lunch, Yunho and his assistant make quick work of distributing the treats Eunmi brought in for the class – everyone gets two including his assistant, who looks more than a little satisfied after sneaking a peek when Yunho finally gives in to curiosity and opens up the small white box that had been specifically marked for him.

Sat inside, amidst an (admittedly not great) arrangement of tissue paper, are six perfectly square homemade chocolate-dipped strawberry marshmallows, and a note:

_I thought the hearts would be a little childish. I really hope you enjoy them. -C (& E)_

“It’s a cute White Day present, Yunho-yah,” she practically coos beside him, and god, he hadn’t thought about the date at all – had Changmin thought of it? Did this mean something, or did everything just happen to fall together? Had Yunho really been oblivious this whole time? If he had been, then he really was the biggest idiot ever; all he’d been doing from day one was trying to find excuses to talk to Changmin more, after all.

It takes three more hours of distracted panicking, running through their various interactions for even the slightest hint that this might be more than a courtesy for his daughter’s teacher, before Yunho decides to send a note home with Eunmi in return, though his is significantly simpler:

_Ask me_.

**SPRING II**

It’s the beginning of April when Changmin and Yunho have their second official (officially labeled, because the first had bled into an all-day affair and they’d met for coffee twice since) date. Changmin packs a picnic dinner for them and they bundle up against the still cool evening air, camping out in one of the picnic areas near the Banpo Bridge Rainbow Fountain to eat and talk while they watch the light shows. It’s a nice time all around, as they’d both expected it would be – Yunho mentions things he wants to do on future dates and Changmin does too; by the end things fall comfortably silent between them, and Yunho leans against Changmin’s side while the younger dares to lace their fingers together on his thigh.

It feels so _right_, like everything in his life has led Changmin to this exact place with this exact person, and despite only knowing Yunho a month there’s a distinct twinge of _something_ in his heart that he knows he shouldn’t put a name to yet. He’s known him a month; they’ve only had two actual dates. There are so many things he doesn’t know about the older man, but at the same time, Changmin can’t help but feel like he’s known Yunho his whole life. The conversations come easily; there is never a panicked scramble for new topics, and when things are quiet neither of them feels as though they have to fill the empty space. There’s no immediate need to hide things nor mince his words; serious topics come just as easily as lighthearted ones, and while Changmin is usually quite guarded with most of his personal things, he finds he readily shares them with Yunho – usually with hope of being shared with in return, because he wants to have all those things, too.

(“Eunmi’s mother,” Yunho had asked him, “what happened with her?”

“She lives in a different part of the city,” Changmin answered easily. “What we had… never felt right, I think. She said she felt like I was cold towards her.”

“Well,” the older decided after a minute or so of silence, “I don’t see it at all. I think you’re a really warm person, it just shows more in the things you do rather than the things you say.”)

(“How did you get the scar by your eye?” Changmin finally asked. He noticed it the very first time they met, and his eyes had always been drawn to it, though he’d tried his best to not look in case it came across as rude.

“It’s honestly so stupid,” Yunho laughed, immediately reaching up to touch the scar in question. “When my sister and I were a lot younger we were playing around with these dumb toy swords one of our cousins brought over. She accidentally whacked me pretty good with one –“ he made the motion of a wide swing with his fists, as if to mimic what happened, “and this is what’s left of it.”

Since they were talking about it, Changmin had decided it would be okay to take a closer look then and reached to gingerly turn the older man’s face towards him. It was the first time they’d ever been so close face to face, and although Changmin was relatively certain his heart was going to beat right out of his chest he took his time in examining everything laid before him: the line of Yunho’s jaw, the shape of his mouth and the little mole just above the left side – it took everything he had not to kiss him right then and there, the way the fountain lights reflected in the other man’s exceedingly perfect almond-shaped brown eyes and made them glitter like stars. The scar was punctuation on a perfect sentence the universe had written especially for him to read, and he touched it like treasure, tracing from top to bottom with barely-there pressure.

“I like it,” he’d said finally, sending a smile in the other man’s direction as he’d pulled his hands away. “I think it suits you. She must feel so guilty, though. I know I would.”)

They pack up and leave around eleven, once the light shows have wrapped for the evening. Changmin drives Yunho back to his apartment complex for the second time, but this time their fingers stay comfortably tangled together on the older man’s lap, a silent insistence he’d had as soon as they’d gotten into the car, and Changmin is more than willing to give in – in truth he feels like he’d do anything the other asked of him, though he knows it’s silly to feel so strongly so early on. _Don’t be crazy_, he tells himself. _Don’t do stupid things_.

“You don’t have to walk me in, I promise I can take care of myself,” Yunho teases him when Changmin parks at the curb in front of his complex, though both of them make quick work of unbuckling their seatbelts despite the older’s words. Yunho doesn’t notice this until they both step out of the car, and he gives the other man a look of curiosity that Changmin can easily read. “I told you – “

“I know,” Changmin answers, holding his hands up in surrender with a smile before resting his folded arms on top of the car and leaning his head on them. “I won’t walk you but I’d still feel better to see you go inside, is that alright?”

Yunho laughs at the insistence, though there’s no mocking or maliciousness behind it in the least. He isn’t quite sure what words he can safely use to describe the way he’s felt since meeting Changmin, but this little act seems to set everything, cheeks included, alight in bright, blazing color, and he can’t help but nod his permission as he gathers his things before shutting his door. “My hero,” he says with another grin, and very suddenly it isn’t only Yunho that is glad for the streetlight-soaked darkness hiding away any hint of heat on his skin.

They say their lingering goodbyes with the width of the car between them, reassurances that both had an amazing time and that they’ll do this again sooner rather than later, Changmin will text him when he gets home and Yunho hopes the rest of Changmin’s weekend goes well, they both really enjoy spending time together – it takes longer than intended but Yunho finally manages to convince himself that he really does need to go, and with a final warm smile he starts to walk away.

Except Changmin doesn’t want that, and the further Yunho gets from him, the closer the older man gets to the door, the more the younger feels something akin to panic rising in his chest – and maybe he could’ve bitten it back if Yunho hadn’t turned to look one more time, only the briefest of moments, before turning his attention back to the door he’s finally reached.

“Yunho-yah!” Changmin calls him, his mind entirely on cruise control while his heart practically flings itself up his throat the moment Yunho immediately turns back around. He isn’t thinking, because if he were thinking he would know better than to speak right now, but all he can see is Yunho and in a split second he goes through how often his thoughts return to the other, how comfortable it feels to be with him, how very much he – “I think I’m in love with you!”

And perfect, kind, gentle Yunho, for a split second, looks shocked at what Changmin is suddenly _very_ certain was a much too early confession – but then his gaze softens, and he looks as though he’s struggling to hold back one of his characteristically brilliant smiles (Changmin’s brain makes some cheesy comparison to the sun and how it wouldn’t be fair of the other, nighttime deserves its chance as well) as he comes back down the path. “How do you know?” he asks in return, setting his things on the trunk of the car before moving closer to the younger man, looking at him expectantly. “You haven’t even kissed me yet, Shim Changmin-ssi.”

Changmin is fairly certain even his scalp is blushing at this point; Yunho grins at the physiological response, watching the other stammer for words to explain the reasoning behind his sudden confession before finally settling on the only thing his heart can offer: “I just know,” he tells him, his voice suddenly more sure than Yunho’s ever heard it. “Do you not –”

But rather than listen to his explanation, Yunho simply moves to cup the taller man’s face in both hands, pulling him down the short distance to silence him by pressing their lips together for what is somehow the very first time despite a hundred close calls.

Yunho knows all about movie clichés and television tropes and k-drama eyeroll-worthy predictabilities; he knows it’s cheesy to say something clicks in a place he went unaware of his entire life (Changmin feels it, but he’s felt it since the beginning – a slight trickle in the wall of a dam that’s finally burst), doesn’t want to make observations about warmth or the lingering taste of strawberry tarts the younger had brought along to their picnic solely because Yunho loves strawberries (Changmin makes these observations: Yunho’s skin stays just a bit cool and his lips are no exception, but there’s a sweetness there that he’s grown completely addicted to after only three or so seconds), doesn’t want to give in and push closer when Changmin’s arms circle his waist to pull him – but he does all these things within the span of what feels like a lifetime but is in reality only a few moments.

When they come apart Changmin looks, for all intents and purposes, stunned at what’s just happened; Yunho grins at him, brighter than Changmin thinks he’s ever seen, and slowly pries himself out of the arms of the younger man before moving to pick up the things he’d abandoned a few minutes ago.

“Goodnight, Changminnie-yah,” he tells him again, and the pace he uses to return to the door of his complex is quicker than the one he’d used the first time – because hesitation would make him open his mouth, and his mind is very desperately trying, to little avail, to throw up checkpoints that will keep Yunho from barreling right into something he can’t climb out of.

He goes through all the reasons why this is crazy. He counts the number of days it’s been since he met Changmin, reminds himself of the fact that he’s the kindergarten teacher of the other man’s daughter and how that could come with all kinds of drama if other parents found out or if things didn’t work out between them (though Yunho would never treat Eunmi poorly, regardless of how things went with Changmin). It’s been two dates, and this is _crazy_ – people don’t fall in love after two dates. There’s no such thing as soulmates or love at first sight or anything like that… right? He’d be silly to let himself get wrapped up in this.

And so Yunho decides, as he changes out of the day’s outfit and into pajamas to settle on the couch, that he won’t.

***

Changmin’s phone rings roughly half an hour after he gets home. He catches it on the very last ring before going to voicemail as he gets out of the shower, taking a quick glance at the name on the display before hastily answering as though his life depends on it, and it’s an opportunity he can’t miss.

“Changmin-ah,” Yunho says softly as the younger answers, “I…”

“Are you okay?” Changmin asks, curious and concerned about both the tone of and the hesitation in the older’s voice. He, thankfully, hears a small laugh on the other end, and even that small bit does wonders to alleviate his worry.

“I’m fine,” he reassures, “I just… you know this is crazy, right? People don’t just say things like what you said.”

Changmin knows he’s right, and in retrospect he knows what he did probably wasn’t the best idea, but in the moment it felt so _important_, like such an immediate need screaming in every single part of him that being quiet hadn’t felt like it was even on the table as an option. He knows he should apologize. He should apologize and start sending Eunmi to school on the bus in the mornings rather than drop her off and just never show his face again, but –

“I know, but,” he tries, trying desperately to make what he feels make sense in words and failing miserably – an overhanging theme in his life. “I needed you to know. I don’t know why, I don’t do this – “

“I think I’m in love with you too.”

Changmin releases a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, taken in somewhere around ‘I think’, and in the midst of waves of terrified-panicked-ecstatic-lovesick that come afterward, he quickly tries to work out what he’s supposed to do next – how to get Yunho back into his orbit rather than on the other side of the city, because all he wants is for the other man to be near right now and he wonders if, maybe, Yunho doesn’t feel the same. They can figure things out together; Changmin doesn’t care if Yunho didn’t feel it immediately the way he did, because this is what’s happening _now_, and so he tests his limits.

“Mimi is with my sister tonight,” he starts. “Do you want – “

“Yes,” Yunho answers immediately, and Changmin is nearly sure he can hear the now-returned smile in the other man’s voice. “Here or there, it doesn’t matter, just – “

“Fifteen minutes,” Changmin assures him, and he’s already got his shoes on before the words are even out, pulling on a coat in what’s surely the dumbest way possible to prevent accidentally hanging up before he’s out the door again. “I’m not trying to – “

“I know,” Yunho interrupts, “I didn’t think that. I’m not either, I just – “

“—want to be close to you.”


	2. summer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last section is rated and… questionable. proceed with caution!

With July comes the end of the first semester for Yunho and Eunmi, and Changmin puts in for a week off from work the month prior. “We’re going to go somewhere special,” he tells them both, but it’s all he’ll divulge – Yunho is only told to pack for summer weather and possibly water, but everything else is left a mystery, and Changmin takes care of all their travel and accommodation arrangements by himself. Even in the airport, he makes sure to keep Yunho turned away from any screens that may give away their flight’s destination, and on the plane itself he covers his ears anytime the intercom beams to life.

“You’re making me nervous,” Yunho tells him with a laugh, helping Eunmi, sat snugly between the two, to color some particularly delicate sections of her coloring pages by her own request. Changmin simply smiles in response, knowing that the current mystery will make the payoff that much better. He knows it’s a place Yunho will enjoy, because it’s something they’ve discussed once or twice since meeting – Changmin remembers the other initially throwing the idea (at the time more a hypothetical scenario than an idea) out on their second date picnic, and that had been when he’d locked it away for later.

_And now later_, he tells himself as they deboard the plane, Eunmi remaining between them with both Yunho and Changmin each holding one of her small hands, _is now_. There’s no hiding their destination once they’re in the airport; murals announcing a happy welcome to Jeju are everywhere they turn, and Yunho looks at Changmin with something akin to wonder in his eyes after taking in the unexpected scenery around them.

“Chami-yah.” When he speaks, there’s still laughter in his voice, but this time it’s laced through with disbelief at the fact that the younger man had managed to pull this off without ever having given away even the slightest hint. “You really didn’t have to – “

“Hush,” Changmin shushes him with a smile. “I know it isn’t someplace exotic, but neither of you have ever been and I… for the three of us, you know?” He stumbles his way through the last of his words, getting a little tangled up in a web of what-can-I-say-how-do-I-call-this as he releases Eunmi to Yunho while he gathers their things at baggage claim, but he knows the older man is aware of what he’s saying without words – it’s in his eyes, and they’ve grown so very good at reading one another in their few months together. To Eunmi, however, it’s all a happy coincidence: this is the first time the three have been alone together, and neither Yunho nor Changmin have let her in on the fact that they’re dating yet, though they both know she’ll put things together soon enough. For now, in her mind, she’s simply lucky her dad and her beloved teacher have become such good friends that they all get to go on a trip together.

“Thank you,” Yunho whispers into Changmin’s ear as he takes one of the smaller bags in his free hand. As if on cue for impending sentimentality, Eunmi spots the illuminated lights of shops up ahead with a thrilled gasp, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet as she waits for her chauffeurs to gather all their belongings.

“Daddy, Vitamin Yunho-seonsaengnim! Come on, come on! I want to go there!” she practically demands, lured in particular by the colorful displays of a shop primarily selling candy and snacks.

“There’ll be better things outside the airport,” Changmin tries to convince her as they begin walking in the direction of the shop, wary of the outlandish prices they’d surely be charging for things he’d be able to find for at least half, if not even less, if she would simply wait for tomorrow when he plans on bringing them to an open market near their hotel, “wouldn’t you rather wait for something better, Mimi-yah?”

“How will I know they’re better if I don’t try these too?” she quickly reasons, looking at him curiously for only a moment before beaming in a way that makes Changmin wonder if she doesn’t know _exactly_ what she’s doing as she drags both men into the shop behind her. Oftentimes, Changmin finds he can’t even argue with her – her logic is sharp for a five-year-old. “We can have both!”

“Mimi-yah, you’re so strong!” Yunho praises her with a grin, and she giggles in delight at the compliment before being lost to them in favor of bins of brightly-colored candies, taking care not to touch things despite the overwhelming urge to dig her hands into everything in sight. Changmin watches her carefully just to make sure while mentally dissecting why it gives him such a warm and fuzzy feeling to hear Yunho call Eunmi the same name he uses with her, and Yunho immediately notices the somewhat reluctant look on his face. “Chami-yah,” he whispers to the younger man, his hand sliding low across the other’s back as a means of comfort, “it’s okay to let her pick out a few things here, right? It’s her first time on a vacation. What if I get her things here and you can get whatever she wants later?”

Changmin thinks on this long and hard, silent as he watches her big eyes widen even further at spotting a set of jellybeans with Minnie Mouse on the packaging, and with a sigh of acquiescence he nods to Yunho – who is already busy happily scooping some sort of puffy pink candy into a small plastic bag of his own. For Changmin, the entire experience suddenly feels very surreal, very homey and domesticated, like somehow, they’ve all three morphed into some sort of little family all their own, and he can’t help showing the grin that tugs at both corners of his mouth the more he allows himself to cautiously lean back into that thought. Maybe one day they will be; he thinks he’d like that.

“What?” Yunho asks with a small laugh when he finally finishes his task and notices the look on the younger man’s face, tying off his bag and resisting the urge to lean in and kiss the other right at that moment. Changmin, of course, simply shrugs, brushing off the idea that anything at all about his face is different in the least.

“You’re both going to ruin your appetites with this junk. It isn’t even 2 in the afternoon yet,” he points out, and Yunho shakes his head in denial, smiling purely because he knows the actual meaning behind Changmin’s words and that the younger man was absolutely using it as a cover-up to the fact that he was feeling particularly sappy.

“We won’t,” he says, turning his attention to Eunmi as he moves to scoop her up off the ground after she’s collected her third set of princess-themed candies, “isn’t that right, Mimi-yah?” The tiny girl gives a vehement nod that quickly turns into shaking her head once Yunho shakes his as a way of redirecting her answer, and she cackles loudly at her own mistake while Yunho brings her to the counter to put her purchases down. As he watches them, Changmin feels the same tight squeeze around his heart that he felt moments ago, but pushes it back in favor of staying grounded – something that’s amazingly hard to do when it comes to either of these two in front of him, because his heart is stuck on a constant loop of _I would do anything for you, never be anything but happy_.

Changmin is, as a rule, rational and realistic. He keeps his head out of the clouds and is quick to point out idealistic thinking in others. He _knows_ that in the long run, relationships are more likely to fail than they are to flourish; he knows that he and Yunho have only been together since April and four months isn’t really that long at all – it’s still new, and that’s surely why they’re still so wrapped up in one another (why Yunho comes over after Eunmi’s asleep at least three nights a week and leaves in the morning before she wakes up, why Changmin brings coffee—for all the teachers, of course—in the mornings now when he drops Eunmi off at school, why they find every possible excuse to attend the same group functions and spend every second of his daughter’s weekends at her mom’s together and they don’t even have to do anything, just exist in the same space). Changmin has been slow and careful with revealing their relationship because he knows he should be – he’s afraid of Eunmi getting any more attached than she already is to Yunho as a teacher and as her father’s ‘friend’ because what if it doesn’t work? What if the bubble pops? What if Yunho, kind, gentle, perfect Yunho, is something that, in the end, Changmin just can’t have, because his proverbial hands are rough, and his grip is tight, and his heart is often lost in translation?

_But maybe_, he thinks, watching Yunho with his daughter, _maybe I can be lucky, just this once_.

***

It’s nearly seven when the three finally make their way to the beach. Changmin had suggested waiting until the following day, but Eunmi had seen the beach as their Uber pulled up to their hotel, and they’d barely been able to contain her bouncing excitement as they settled into the two-room suite the younger man had booked for them. As a compromise, he promised they could go down for a little bit once they’d eaten dinner and changed into beach-appropriate clothing, and she’d readily accepted the agreement despite having been sneaking handfuls of jellybeans and gummies since early afternoon.

The beach Changmin had very extensively researched before carefully selecting was touted as being particularly child-friendly, with shallows that went out for some distance and few if any waves to speak of; he’d been confident that it would be the perfect first beach experience for Eunmi (and Yunho, it turns out – “I don’t get to the beach a lot,” he’d admitted in the hotel room, “or ever, really. I’m not a great swimmer, so look after me.”) and now, listening to her shrill screams and giggles of joy nearly an hour later as he and Yunho walk through the water, swinging her between the two of them so her feet kick water every few steps, he knows he was absolutely right – and maybe he hasn’t stopped smiling since their bare feet first touched the sand.

“Mimi-yah, you’re spraying us!” he teases, acting surprised every time it happens even though it’s clearly halfway his own doing, and that only serves to make her laugh more. “What should we do with such a troublesome child, Yunho-ssi?”

“Hmm,” the older man pretends to ponder with a grin, his free hand coming to his chin to complete the look of deep thought as he looks between Changmin and Eunmi dangling between the two of them, then begins to turn so they face outward toward the ocean. “We might have to throw her out and let the ocean have her – “

Eunmi immediately interrupts him with a shriek of protest and a loud, albeit giggly, “No!”

“No?” Changmin questions the wriggling girl, allowing his grip to loosen ever so slightly. “But I thought you wanted to be a mermaid, we’re letting you!”

“No! I can’t be a mermaid, I can’t breathe!” she protests, finally wrestling free from the two men and taking off down the beach, cackling and shrieking at her oh-so-clever escape the whole way. They allow her to run ahead, and while she’s thoroughly wrapped up in her own mischief, Changmin manages to sneak one of his hands behind the other man’s back, stealthily taking Yunho’s far hand and lacing their fingers together in as secret a way as possible as they walk.

“You’re really good with her,” Changmin comments, then immediately rolls his eyes at how ridiculous it sounds when everything is taken into consideration. “I know you’re around kids all the time and it’s probably really natural to you, I think you probably know better than me sometimes, but… I still appreciate it. She loves you a lot.”

“I love her a lot too,” Yunho answers easily, smiling and squeezing Changmin’s hand a little tighter. “I love all my kids, but she’s really special to me. I wonder why that might be?”

“Bias,” Changmin offers, “she’s pretty cute, very smart. You’ll never have another one like her.”

At this, the older man laughs loudly, ramming his shoulder into Changmin’s in order to make him stumble a bit – Changmin laughs and does the same in return, though his is just a little more forceful. “That’s _your_ bias, you only think she’s cute because she looks so much like you! Every parent thinks their child is the best one,” Yunho reasons, his voice mirthful as he leans up to press a quick kiss to the other man’s cheek. “But you’re pretty cute, so I guess that’s fair.”

The words make the grin Changmin’s already wearing stretch even further, but he doesn’t get the chance to even really begin formulating an answer, because only a moment later he and Yunho are interrupted by familiar, pained sobs about ten feet ahead of them. In an instant, Changmin drops Yunho’s hand, quickly making his way over the short distance between them and the small girl on her knees, crying her eyes out.

“What happened?” he asks, immediately scooping her up into his arms, wiping his hand on his shorts before going to work wiping away the tears on her cheeks. “Did you fall? Are you hurt?” Although her crying had stopped nearly the instant she’d been picked up, Eunmi sniffs in response, her lower lip still trembling as she nods, then wraps her arms around Changmin’s neck and buries her face there. He sighs heavily, rubbing her back and turning his attention to Yunho, who looks so painfully empathetic it almost hurts. “There’s a little first aid kit in the bag, could you get it for us?” he asks, referencing the tote they’d left down the beach a small distance, and Yunho immediately nods in agreement. “We’re going to sit on the bench up here,” he calls after the other man once he’s started jogging down the beach, earning a thumbs up in response – and then, before the other is out of Changmin’s sight, a belated “Be safe!”

(What he means is: _I don’t like when I can’t see you because what if something happens, who’s looking after you right now_.)

Once Changmin sits on the bench with Eunmi settled on his lap, he inspects the minor scrape on her knee, gently brushing off bits of sand. “It’s getting late anyway,” he starts, “so when Yunho comes we’ll go back to the hotel and wash this off. We can play more at the beach tomorrow.” The small girl nods solemnly, and Changmin takes it as approval for the time being, thankful that she’d settled enough to stop crying. “It doesn’t look too bad, but we’ll put a band-aid on it just in case, how’s that sound?”

“Good,” she answers quietly, and when Changmin looks at her he can see the gears in her head churning away – he doesn’t have a clue what she’s thinking, so he pokes her in the side gently enough to force a giggle out.

“What’re you thinking about?” he asks her, looking for means of distraction his daughter can use against her hurts. “You look so serious.”

For a moment, she’s silent, looking down at her tiny hands before huffing a heavy sigh and lifting them to flop back down heavily on her lap. “I have to tell you a secret,” she says. “It’s about Vitamin Yunho-seonsaengnim so you can’t tell him, okay?”

“You know I won’t,” Changmin reassures her, immediately offering out his pinky for promising – something she currently insists on – and watching as she wraps her own small finger around his. He’s intrigued by the thought of a secret about Yunho coming from Eunmi, and while he has an inkling of what it may be about, he decides to let his daughter come to her own conclusions about things. “So spill it, kiddo.”

“I think he likes you,” she says, not mincing words or showing even the slightest hesitation. Changmin does everything he can to stifle the grin threatening to break free once again as he watches her work through things mentally.

“Of course he likes me, we’re friends,” Changmin offers coolly, “I brought him with us to Jeju.”

“_No_,” she says again, complete with frustrated noise. “I mean I think he loves you!”

This time, Changmin can’t help but laugh at her insistence, reaching for her face to turn her in his direction. He knows he shouldn’t pry, but this time he just can’t resist, wondering whether Yunho had said something to his daughter to give her the idea or if she’d just been particularly observant – he knew deep down that it was most likely the latter, because Yunho knew how important it had been to Changmin that they wait to tell her about their relationship. “Oh?” he asks, “Why do you think that?”

“’Cause he’s happy all the time but when you’re around, he’s even more happy,” she explains in the best way she can, reaching up to cup her father’s face between her tiny hands. “And one time I got out of bed to go pee and he was on the couch with you and you had your arm like this – “ she then moves to drape her much smaller arm around Changmin’s shoulders, “and that’s what people sit like when they like each other.”

Changmin, once again, is absolutely stunned, though this time it’s more to do with the fact that Eunmi was aware of at least one of Yunho’s late night visits to their house – that was something he thought they’d carefully concealed, but apparently not quite as well as they’d intended. Minor slip-up aside, the rest of her explanation definitely warms his heart; love always seems to be something very simple and straightforward to children, and the idea of Yunho being even marginally happier in his presence was something he would hold close, because it was exactly the same for him.

“If that’s how people sit when they like each other, then do you think I like him too?”

This time, it’s Eunmi’s turn to grin, her hurts forgotten entirely as they see Yunho walking towards them, finally returned from his journey to get their things from the beach. “Yeah,” she nods enthusiastically. “You’re happy when he’s around, too. That makes me happy.”

“Hmm,” he pretends to think for a moment, hugging her close and leaning down to whisper into her ear with a smile. “You might be right. Should I tell him?”

“Yeah!”

It takes one (very staged) brand new confession of feelings before Eunmi will allow them to head back to the hotel room, and as soon as it becomes clear she was absolutely right in her hunch that her two very favorite people in the world love each other “probably more than anybody else ever,” she squeals and giggles in satisfaction. To the embarrassment of both, this re-confession somehow makes Changmin and Yunho both revert to first date mode, all flushed, warm skin as they make their way back to the hotel; Changmin carries Eunmi in one arm on account of her injuries, but on his other side he has his fingers laced between Yunho’s, keeping him close, always touching.

Maybe this is something he can have after all.

***

It takes Eunmi two nights to decide she absolutely does not want to share a bed with Changmin anymore.

“You’re too big,” she’d told him (and maybe there was a slight ache in his chest over it, because he very clearly remembers how, only a few months ago, he’d practically had to bribe her to sleep in her own bed – she’s growing up and what is he supposed to _do_?), giving him a pat on the arm as if _she_ were the parent sending her son off into the harsh realities of the world. “You can share with Vitamin Yunho-seonsaengnim!”

Changmin laughed loudly at that. “There’s a flaw in your logic,” he’d pointed out helpfully. “You say I’m too big to share the bed with when you’re only this big,” he put his hand at an approximation of her height from the ground, “but you want Yunho-seonsaengnim to share the bed with me when he’s more than four Mimis high. Explain.”

“It’s okay ‘cause you like each other, so you’re supposed to share with him,” Eunmi offered easily, her resolve not wavering for even a moment. “You can hug.”

“Okay, well, you definitely don’t have to share the bed with someone just because you like them, please don’t think that,” Changmin tried derailing that train before it got to the memory station, a solid lump forming in his gut as his mind flew off into wild territory (Yunho was, unhelpfully, trying to stifle a grin behind his hand at their conversation, and Changmin glared at him halfheartedly).

“Changminnie-yah,” the older man had offered quickly, sensing the other’s discomfort, “I don’t mind if you share with me.”

But all of that was hours ago. Now it’s nearing three in the morning, and Yunho’s on his belly between Changmin’s spread legs, nosing the hard lines of his cock and mouthing at one particularly damp patch of his boxer briefs like the fabric is some kind of lewd makeshift filter, and Changmin’s teeth are worrying at his bottom lip so hard that he’s sure it’ll end up bruised the next morning. It’s not the first time they’ve shared a bed – but it’s the first time they’ve shared a bed with only a single door between them and Changmin’s daughter, and he absolutely does not relish the idea of her waking up in the middle of the night and catching an eyeful of anything that might be happening.

Of course, this wasn’t enough to deter him beyond a couple of half-hearted protests when Yunho had initially nudged him awake, but that’s beside the point – the point now is the way the older man is not-at-all-subtly breathing in Changmin’s scent and god, that should be gross, because he didn’t shower before they went to bed. Yunho, however doesn’t seem to mind that in the least; if the way his fingers dig into the meat of Changmin’s inner thighs ever so slightly each time he smells the younger man, then all signs point to the fact that he even _likes_ it. Maybe Changmin does, too.

“You’re so gross, Yundol-ah,” Changmin teases him without fire, lifting his hips when Yunho slides his hands beneath his ass to pull down his underwear and push them off the edge of the bed, still within reach, just in case.

“Mm,” Yunho simply hums, neither confirming nor denying as he presses wet, open-mouthed kisses to the junction between Changmin’s thigh and torso, his tongue running just beneath his balls and pressing into the skin there. “You smell like mine. It’s everything I like,” and Changmin has to bite back a deliriously satisfied groan at the combination of words and touches, one of his hands coming to wrap fingers loosely in the other’s soft black locks. It’s nonsensical but makes complete sense to the both of them, and Changmin lets Yunho do as he pleases, because why would he complain when he has literal perfection between his legs and practically worshipping him?

“Yeah,” the younger breathes as Yunho licks a long, steady line from underneath his balls to the tip of his cock, wrapping his lips around the head for a brief, slick pop that makes Changmin suck air in through his teeth, “remember me letting you do this – “

“_Letting_ me – “ Yunho sounds somewhat offended, throwing a soft glare up at Changmin through long, dark lashes as he runs his open mouth along the other man’s entire length, sucking gently but never lingering in any one particular spot for long enough to be of any actual use.

“ – when I bite your toes the next time I undress you,” Changmin finishes, and Yunho has the nerve to _giggle_ before dropping back down to the younger’s balls, tonguing at the thin, sensitive skin and drawing one into his mouth as he brings his hand up to tease Changmin’s cock at the same time. His grip is loose and entirely unsatisfying – a stark contrast to the hard presses of the pad of Yunho’s thumb against his frenulum, and it makes Changmin feel like there’s liquid fire running through his veins, his fingers tightening ever so slightly in the other’s hair as his mouth falls open in a heavy sigh.

“Changminnie,” Yunho says quietly, fondly, in between switching sides, his free hand coming up to gently disentangle one of Changmin’s hands from his hair to place it back down against the mattress. His fingers wrap around the younger’s forearm and Changmin, in turn, does the same to Yunho; it’s something of a thing for them, a habit they’d fallen into as a means of keeping one another grounded and present during more intimate moments like these. “I didn’t know you wanted me to give you a foot job, you should’ve told me,” he teases.

“You idiot,” Changmin says with a strangled laugh as one of Yunho’s fingers presses into the base of his cock, pushing it down so his mouth can access it easier from the position he’s currently in. Yunho doesn’t get to follow Changmin’s train of thought, travelling from _it’s not something I specifically want_ to _but I wouldn’t say no because it’s you and you’re everything_; all he gets is the ending: “I like all your parts,” punctuated by another sharp intake of breath as the older finally sinks his mouth down. Changmin’s fingers dig into Yunho’s forearm, and Yunho hums happily at the pressure, taking his time with working the other man down. It’s leisurely, relished, all lips and tongue and the soft, barely-there grazing of teeth against sensitive skin and Changmin’s entire world is pinpointed right here. He decides that the risk is so worth it.

“How did I get so lucky,” he breathes on a long, wet upslide, lewd _pop_ marking the way Yunho pulls back only briefly as Changmin gazes down at him, trying to commit to memory for the hundredth time the way his lips pout and swell and part, every bit of him overwhelmingly perfect.

Yunho catches him looking and despite the position they’re currently in, Changmin is almost certain the older man’s whole face is practically glowing with heat. “Dunno,” Yunho answers, looking away to turn his attention back to the current task at hand with hollowed cheeks if only to keep from melting in the younger man’s gaze. His tone takes on the same teasing edge from earlier once he’s safely hidden away: “Maybe you did something nice in a past life.”

“Of course you’d believe in that stuff,” Changmin reasons out in passing, finally giving Yunho’s arm a tug after deciding that as much as he’s enjoying their current activity, he’d rather have something different. “You. Here.” The words are minimal, but the implication is heavy in the air between them, and Yunho understands immediately just as he always does – he grins, entirely satisfied with the turn of events, and shifts up onto his knees to crawl upward until he’s straddling Changmin.

“Me, here,” he answers softly, leaning down with one hand pressed into the mattress beside Changmin’s head as the other curves around the back of his neck, pulling the younger man up into a deceptively sweet, lingering kiss while hands settle on his hips.

“Why are you wearing so much,” Changmin complains against Yunho’s lips, fingering the waistband of the boxers the other had worn to bed beneath his t-shirt. He feels more than sees the older man’s answering grin, and god, if that doesn’t make him even hungrier than he already was – Yunho has the worst kind of power over him, because this was supposed to have been about _Changmin_, not _I will do absolutely anything you want me to so long as you keep letting me touch you_. Even so, he can’t deny he loves every bit of it, just like he loves every bit of the man sat on top of him, dragging nails lightly along the muscle of Changmin’s stomach as he rolls his hips in slow, deliberate circles.

“Decency,” Yunho answers easily, only vaguely given away by the way he sucks his bottom lip in as he looks down at Changmin’s state of undress. “What happened to all your clothes, Chami-yah?”

“I’m going to beat you,” Changmin fires back just a little too loudly, temporarily ignoring the myriad of lustful thoughts making him ache for more contact in favor of shifting his grip to Yunho’s sides in a tickle attack. If his own words a moment ago had been too loud considering their current arrangement, the squeal the older man gives in protest is at least ten times worse, grabbing at Changmin’s hands as he laughs and quickly rolls off and away.

“We’re not home,” he protests hurriedly, still laughing as Changmin easily rolls over on top to continue his attack, “we’re not home! Changminnie!”

The words don’t sink in, and Changmin has Yunho’s wrists pinned above his head soon enough, pressing hard, fervent kisses to the column of the older man’s neck as he rocks his hips down into the other. This is what finally gets Yunho, his eyes fluttering closed as a soft moan escapes against the crown of Changmin’s head, dragging the sole of his foot along the length of the younger man’s leg until he can hook it around his waist to arch up into him.

“There you are,” Changmin whispers with a grin – and then freezes.

“What?” Yunho immediately notices, his eyes flying open as he looks up at Changmin’s face. “Chami-yah, what is it? Why’d you stop?”

Changmin shushes him sharply, and that’s when Yunho hears it too – a distinct stirring in the room on the other side of the wall, and his eyes fly to the small crack they’d left in the door. Before Yunho can even open his mouth, Changmin is up and away, practically soaring in his haste to get to the bathroom, and in the back of his mind Yunho knows this is fair; Changmin is wearing much less than he is and is much worse off, and the thought of being caught like that isn’t something either man will ever be okay with.

Even so, when the door pushes open and Eunmi walks in with a handful of blankets and her tiny face sleep-bleary asking if she can have some water and telling him she had a bad dream, Yunho thinks he might just kill him.


End file.
